Melody #002The Raconteurs – Many Shades of Black
Don’t ever leave me again!
Melody #001:
Of Montreal – Gallery Piece (Minitel Rose Remix)
I wanna be your love. I wanna make you cry. And sweep you off your feet. I wanna hurt your pride. I wanna slap your face. I wanna paint your nails. I wanna make you scream. I wanna braid your hair. I wanna kiss your friends. I wanna make you laugh. I wanna dress the same. I wanna defend you. I wanna squeeze your thighs. I wanna kiss your eyelids. And corrupt your dreams. I wanna crash your car. I wanna scratch your cheeks. I wanna make you sick. I wanna sell you out. Want to expose your flaws. I wanna steal your things. I wanna show you off. I wanna tell you lies. I wanna write you books. I wanna turn you on. I wanna make you come. 200 times a day. I wanna dry your tears. Every time you’re sad. I wanna be what’s happening. I wanna be your only friend. I wanna be your beast. I wanna make you proud. And play with your head. I wanna take you out. Make you feel adored. And buy you everything. I wanna hurt you bad. Make you paranoid. And say the sweetest things. I wanna help you grow. And for eternity. I wanna be your what’s happening. What’s happening.
The time has come OMG the time has come OMG Am I ready? Is it too soon? OMG what if I’m not ready and this turns bad? OK you know what, if I’m asking these questions it probably means I’m not ready. OK I’m gonna go off now, and keep chillin’.
I open my eyes. Relieved, I reach for my phone, and out of habit, I begin composing a text message. Somewhere along the lines of “OMG I just had a nightmare and…” Wait a minute. Something doesn’t feel right. I check the date. November. Not September? I scroll through my Inbox. Last message received at 2AM and it was from Another Sender (to which till today I have no reply and I feel bad, but not bad enough). Something definitely doesn’t feel right. And so a few minutes of staring-up-at-the-ceiling later this dawns on me: The dream I had, was not a dream but a replay of events of the past two months. Like a movie, you know? Waking up thinking everything was back to normal and then realizing that this is normal… not exactly the kind of feeling one enjoys waking up to.
Now here I am, waiting for my ride (no car tonight). For some unknown reason I start reading Old Posts. Not mine of course. I read mine all the time, just to remind myself of the lessons I have learnt. Some of these posts made me sad, left me longing. Many of them made me roll my eyes and go, “Bullshit!” (out loud). A few of them, especially those from The Beginning, served as warnings, and I now kick myself for not taking them seriously back then.
So like the season we entered each others’ lives, we conquered, and when time was up we moved on. That’s what we were to each other. A phase of some sort. Sad, isn’t it? But a pretty memorable one, that’s a fact.
I had my fortune told once. She said I would meet three Great Loves in my lifetime. You should be delighted to hear you are one of them (I’m not entirely sure though, so ask me again when I am old and grey).
Let me reminisce while I still can. Because before I know it, I will forget… everything.
Hey. About Facebook and other things. It’s just something that has to be done. I promise it’s nothing childish and I ain’t scheming. I’m an analyzer who sometimes have some free time. It’s dangerous. The less I know, the better. Can you understand that?
I’m about to embrace fate. To signs, I did not realize I was being ignorant. I’m here now. Armed and ready for the war. On my own.
xoxo
The bad news I mean. Right now, and not later. Because by then everything may just get worse.
*runs off to explore*
What do I want? I want someone to stop trying to convince him/herself (or the world) that he/she is a saint for what he/she has done. Stop spinning the truth and just say it for what it is.
I’m tired of… feeling.
PS:- You’re right. You sucked.
Oh I am worst at self-introduction. As well as at small talk.
